Over the years, I have lost friends, family and comrades to the grim reaper by misadventure, drugs, cancer, “open verdicts,” murder and brain aneurysms (or cerebral aneurysms) that have ruptured among many others. More recently I have lost friends at an alarming rate. I have had friends who are either younger than me or around the same age who have succumbed to death and left loving families and friends behind to grieve and wonder how this can be happening, me included. This is 2012, not 1952 for fucks sake.

They say people are living longer on average age. Well I don’t see much evidence of that on an average basis on the ground around me.  People are living longer but a lot of us are dying at far too young an age – at least in the world I inhabit. People that have not yet even had time to contribute to society beyond enriching people’s lives for having known them.

John Mooney
James Casey January 31, 1998
John O’Kane Killed in a knife attack Spring 1998
Gerry McDonald
Nicky Groome died on New Year day 2003
Ally O’Connor
Spencer Mackin
“Gravy” Gray
Boy Mooney
Tam Brown
Kevin Campbell

So many in between and on Monday I attended yet another of very many funerals of my friends, most of which, I have failed to mention, to my shame. There wouldn’t be enough room in any case. But in the last three months 3 people have died among my friends that have all been younger than me or around the same age.

The Funeral I attended was for Ian “Milldoo” Millar who I have known for over 20 years, as can be said for most of the people I have outlived (apart from those that have been too young for me to have known for that length of time). Quite how I have managed to outlive them is beyond me. I must have angels looking out for me or I maybe I’m that much of a pain in the arse, God or whatever deity, is in no hurry to see me any time soon. It will be me judging Him and He will have to answer to me come my day of reckoning. Believe me, I’m ready for my day in the final court of judgement. I hope for His sake, He is as ready, for I have plenty to question Him and cross-examine Him about. Though I’m agnostic so I don’t know how that’s going to work.

I do know this. Milldoo was a decent bloke. Not God-fearing or anything like that. But he was a decent bloke who, as Jesus reportedly to preached, loved his neighbour. Not because of any fear of God, but because it was the way he was. Not perfect, but hardly malicious. But the Bible says there is no place for him in heaven. Well if there is a heaven for all the God-fearing fundamentalist followers of Abrahamic religions, then it’s not the heaven I or Milldoo will be wanting any part of. You see Milldoo was gay. I don’t want any part of a xenophobic God or deity. Milldoo lived by the cornerstones of Xtianity – “Love thy neighbour as thy self”[Matthew 22:38-39] And “Love thy enemy for it’s easier to love thy enemy than it is to love thy neighbour”.[Matthew 5:43-48] He never had a bad word or held a grudge against anyone I know. Opinionated and he liked to debate robustly, but never held a grudge. He lived a good life and never harmed anyone, possessing free will, not because some book written for Jews by Jews, with bits welded on by Xtians for  them and rewritten by who was to become a Muslim for Muslims, told him how to behave and treat their fellow-man with respect.  He lived his life like that because it was natural to him. He was no saint by any manner of means, but who of us are?

The Abrahamic books didn’t tell us anyway because the books, between them are racist, sexist, vengeful, and talk about an evil God that promotes slavery, adultery, murder, mass terrorism, paedophilia, torturing people, mostly woman, to death, hypocrisy and a whole host of evil doings that would shame all the devils in hell. They are all sects of Judaism anyway. Do you really think a God of love would have anything to do with all that. However “mysterious” his motives may have been.

I only hope, if there is a day of reckoning, I will be with Milldoo and the other friends that I have lost.

I don’t bear any grudge against the people I hold responsible for these deaths. Some were accidents but I do hold those in the higher echelons of power responsible and guilty for many of the deaths – and I do bear them ill will – I know I shouldn’t and I always try to forgive, not forget mind you, but forgive. I just can’t forgive, for they do know what they are doing. They are forging a war on the working class youths of our towns and cities of these Islands.  They are trying to create an underclass and promote the working class as an artificial middle class while leaving the underclass with no way to organise and be listened to. They are marginalising them and disenfranchising them because they are left with no political voice for them. Witness the riots of last year (2011). That was the only way they felt the could express their anger at the great and the good. The Labour Whip, Frank Roy, was in office when they were creating this underclass. He has personal experience of the damage it can cause. I warned him about it not long before his Party was ousted by the Limp Dems. He took no heed and adopted the standard Whitehall stance. The blood of these young men and women are on their hands (Westminster and Whitehall) and in most cases, theirs alone.

I’m sorry to make a political point out of this sad occasion. I tried not to dwell on it but I couldn’t help myself and if I know Milldoo like I think I do, then I don’t think he would mind.

RIP Milldoo and deepest condolences to his family closest friends.